Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Sucktastic suckiness

I am sitting here at work just agonizing. Today is the announcement of the findings of the study that was done on my department last year, before I was even employed here. They have found that the person I work for is not necessary. But a supervisor is necessary, and three other separate new positions are necessary. But it's not personal or discrimination. Right. Whatever.

So for the third time in a row, I am being uprooted to a new manager without any say in the matter, and for the second time in a row, the person I work for is being unfairly terminated. What the fuck?!

And the best part is that they told her the results about a week and a half ago, then they told me and my co-worker, her direct reports. She goes on (previously) planned vacation last week, comes back and they have restricted all of her access - without telling her!!! And without telling her employees. When they told us what was going to happen, they did not give us a specific date when this would happen. So we were left to figure that out. Logically, it would take effect the day after the big announcement, which is today. But no one officially SAID that. On top of that, the access the sup had was vital to, well, doing her job. Now she cannot. But we have shit to get done. And we can't get it done, because she can't do it, and I have no one else to ask "officially". I can't farm it out to our contactor, because I know there is no budget for it.

I am stuck stuck stuck. I can't voice my opinion on how unprofessionally this is being handled, just as it pertains to ME, the employee who has NOTHING to do with this. I have been kept in the dark and put in an awkward position by not having anyone to go to to escalate things that need to get done since her access has been restricted. And the person that I will be reporting to does not have the technical knowledge that she does, so I am not even sure how that is going to WORK! Who is going to do all the daily stuff she does. No one has said anything about this. So we are left to wonder. And back to my point in this paragraph, I can't say anything to anyone about how this is being handled, because I can't afford to seem contrary or like I am taking sides, because frankly I need to keep my job. So I need to not make enemies or raise concerns about me with anyone in charge. So I basically have to put my head down and take it. Fucking sucks!

That is just one of the several things making my day suck today.

Another thing is my sewer taxes. I was levied a steep fine that I cannot get removed (I asked today in person) and that is going to have to come out of my income tax return now. Which sucks. I never know how much I will be getting back, so I always worry that it will not be enough. I am going to try and visit a relative this year who moved far away, and I have to use tax return money to pay for it. Plus I still have other bills and monies that I owe.

And I am getting another year older. That in itself is not an issue so much as what to do about it. I have one idea in mind and my SO doesn't seem to have another, but wants me to be around. I was thinking of going to hang with a friend. I can understand him wanting to spend the time with me, and not wanting to miss what I will be doing for my special day, but there is nothing special planned. Just girl time. Argh!

My SO and I have communication problems. I know that is the main issue. He says things that I take not at all the way he intended. Because what he says is something I would say when I mean something else entirely. I got so frustrated this morning when talking about the work thing with him, because all he said was something about not getting caught up in the drama at work and it sounded like he was saying it was my fault, but he wasn't. And I know that, looking back at the conversation. But how he said it did not feel that way. I wish we could understand each other better all the time.

So, my life sucks today. My boss is going to be eliminated, I am getting a new one whom I don't really know, things are going to change in a big way at work, I need my tax money and I am stressed out. That's that.